In the latest findings, it has been confirmed that Chris Benoit murdered his seven-year-old retarded son using his own famous wrestling hold, the Crippler Crossface. It’s the same move he used to beat Triple H for the heavyweight title at WWE WrestleMania XX.

According to the investigation, Benoit’s retarded son started the altercation by removing the drool sponge duct taped to his chin. When Benoit tried to retape the soaked sponge, the retarded child resisted and went into a retarded frenzy.

Benoit tried to subdue his son with a Pile Driver but the retard was unaffected because of his extra large retarded head. The maneuver, however, sent Benoit’s retarded son into a maniacal retarded rage. He attacked his father first with a retarded DDT and then followed that up with a retarded Figure Four Leg Lock. Neither was able to calm the steroid-fueled onslaught by his father, a more experienced wrestler and a non-retard.

After distracting his son with a shiny object, Benoit wrapped his forearms around his son’s retarded neck and began to squeeze like a python crushing the life out of a retarded rabbit.

As the air escaped his retarded little lungs and was not replenished, his retarded little brain asphyxiated and he lost his one brain cell.

Afterward, Benoit went upstairs to enjoy some peace and quiet. His wife, however, was in an Oprah commercial break and started yelling at him to remove the Nautilus Home Gym that was collecting dust in their bedroom.

He calmly approached her, mid-bitching, and snapped her neck like corn on the cob. Then he sat at his home gym, put four hundred pounds on each pulley and wrapped it around his neck to work out his anterolaterals.