September 26th, 2008
Top 5 Things Super Mario Will Do When He Retires
1. Get scammed out of 400,000 gold coins by a Nigerian Koopa.
2. Teaches a class at the learning annex titled “banging your head away into financial freedom.”
3. Ride Yoshi through a farmer’s market killing 35 Goombas on intense star flashback.
4. Some plumbing, finally.
5. Discover Halo.
Top 5 (Homo) Sexually Tilted Lines by NBA Playoff Commentators
1. They double up on Duncan.
2. Parker trying to squeeze through, covered by Duncan.
3. Walton is hit hard from behind by Horry.
4. Parker is looking over his shoulder, while Manu Ginobili lets him know where he is.
5. Duncan, working on Gasol, shoves it in there. Gasol grimaces in frustration.
