April 26th, 2007
It’s Dune Murderous of Defamation League here with your ANNUAL MOVIES IN REVIEW. Here we cover all the movies that matter – the ones I watched.
Aqua Teen Movie:
Crap. I’m a huge fan of the show and have seen every episode in the first 4 seasons at least 25 times. It was like an hour and a half of plot that was suggested by the loudest, dumbest douchebag in the “who’s line is it anyway?” audience.
Aqua Teen Hunger Force? More like Aqua Bean Bunghole Farts. Okay, I regret typing that last sentence, but not as much as I regret having watched that movie.
I give it ½ Star for the intro scene (which is on YouTube).
Grindhouse:
Definitely worth the money, first off, it actually was a movie-going “experience” and second of Rodriguez and Tarantino? Hell yeah! Surprisingly, I loved Rodriquez’s “Planet Terror” way more than old Quint’s “Deathproof.”
This whole ordeal is over three hours and being a drunk and bringing two flasks into the theater I managed to pee 6 times! Yeah!
I give it 5 Stars (it was two movies for the price of one without having to sneak into a second theater!)
300:
Everyone on the planet has already seen this movie…so…see it again and again and again. Here’s the plot: scantily-clad European men with bodies to die for sweatily battle it out on a Mediterranean coast.
So fucking awesome; gives Return of the King a run for its money. If the queen of Sparta was played by Elvira, this would be the best movie ever.
I give it 4 Stars (because if I give it 5 you’ll think I’m gay and I’m not damn it!)
