Your tattoo is stupid. Seriously, it’s not cool at all. Aside from the fact that it was poorly done by some fuck that couldn’t care less about the stain on your flesh the rest of your life because he was too busy wondering when Raul was coming by to drop off an eight-ball of crystal meth, there’s no meaning or significance behind it.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure there’s meaning to YOU, but not to me, Joe passerby on the street, who looks at the fairy with butterfly rings encased in a star made of flowers all done up with some generic Arizona tribal designs and openly laughs at you.

If you must get something tattooed…here are some tips from unkie-Dune.

1. If you have seen 3 or more people with your tattoo, don’t get it.

2. If it just “looks cool” (which it doesn’t), don’t get it.

3. Is it an animal? Steer clear.

4. Zodiac sign? Birthdate? Dead friend? Religious affiliation? Band you aren’t in? No. No. No. No. No.

5. If you’re going to get one, let it have meaning, that’s why I proudly bear my life-size 40 ounce bottle across my heart.

The only good kind of tattoo is one you give yourself while drunk on booze you made yourself in the toilet of your prison jail cell to represent another inmate you either murdered or made your bitch.

This entry was posted on Friday, May 2nd, 2008 at 5:40 pm and is filed under Story. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.